Biker's Haven
The Stories
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April 2008 I start my story by saying Thank You!
"Welcome to the Outer Banks of North
Carolina" Now watch out for the bugs and
the tourist, they both cross the road
without looking. I was heading south on
Rte-158 just north of the Wright
Memorial Bridge when someone pulled out
in front of me from the right side of
the road, and stopped, in my lane. I was
doing about 55 mph and he was only about
60 feet or so in front me. I layed the
bike down and for the first second or so
thought I was doing good until I hit a
reflector in the road surface with the
left hand grip. That ripped the bike
loose from my grip and we parted
company. I continued rolling and
tumbling south thru the right lane, the
left lane, the center lane and into the
north bound lanes on the 4th of July
weekend and no one hit me. There is a
God and she loves me. The helmet was
smashed, my cell phone and watch was
flat. The last thing I remember was
seeing the word "JEEP" on the front end
of a vehicle screaming to a stop just in
front of me, and my bike back up on its
wheels and heading south on the far side
of the road.
Dear Riding Brother "Dave T", One of the things I 'hear' in your story is how important it was for you to have people, even people you did not know, tell you, tho' hurt badly, you were going to be alright. In all that was happening, the comfort and peace found its way through from those words to help get you through it. Those are words from real angels!
I
am grateful with you that you are
still able and willing to continue
the motorcycle journey and I will
repeat your lessons learned for the
rest of us to 'hold' for a
moment and to contemplate:
TINK
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March 2008
Hi Tink
I found your site on total motorcycle and I'm glad I did. I was in an accident and can't image how my family would feel if I were the causality which was almost the case. My husband and I decided to take up motorcycling and we love it. At the time I had a Kawasaki Vulcan 500 nice beginner bike and my husband had a Kawasaki Vulcan 800. I only had my license for 8 months and was still pretty green but very confident. We live in Mass and had ridden through NH and VT to get to Americade in Lake George NY with 7 of our friends. There were 6 bikes total. The ride there was tough because we rode through pouring rain all the way to NY. We made it there with no issues other than fatigue. We had a wonderful time at Americade, went for rides along the lake it was beautiful. I was so excited it was like gliding in the open air. On the ride home was when it happened. I'm thankful it was chilly out because I had all my leathers on, coat, chaps, full face helmet. In NH there is a hairpin turn that has a beautiful lake on one side and a cemetery on the other. Approaching this turn I was 5th in line, a couple on a gold wing were behind me, and because I thought I could I was speeding into the turn. I was going so fast, my bike was almost on it's side and my foot was dragging on the ground. I would have made it through the curve if it wasn't for one stupid mistake. I made the cardinal mistake when your in a turn, I looked up at the on coming traffic and took my eyes off of the curve. In an instant my bike immediately became vertical and headed for the front end of an SUV. I have no idea how I did this but I put the throttle down, my saddlebag hit the SUV, I went thru a 4' ditch up a hill and headed for a headstone, through a leg over the bike and let the bike go then fell on my butt. The couple that was behind me went through the curve then came running over. They thought I was dead. I was very very fortunate to have walked away with only a terrible bruise on my left shoulder. A car that was behind the last bike went up the road and told the rest of the group that a "girl had crashed her bike but she was ok". I have never seen my husband that shade of white before and I never want to see it again. My bike suffered a broken clutch and bent handlebar. Everyone wanted me to have a tow truck pick up the bike but for some reason I knew that if I didn't ride something home I would never get on a bike again so our friend taped up my clutch and rode my bike and I rode my husbands 60 miles back home. Then the scary part came, I told my kids. When I did that reality set in and I thought "what am I crazy!" I avoided the bike for a couple of weeks then started riding it again. Because I was now terrified of that bike an I so wanted to keep riding I traded it in. I now have a Vulcan 900 which fits me better and I feel believe it or not safer on it. I truly believe that I got through that accident because I had my brother in law with me, certainly not my riding skills. My brother in law was a biker all his life and past away 8 years ago (not bike related). I had the accident around the anniversary of his death. I know it was Gary who put the throttle down and held my shoulder up so I would not fall off the bike. I truly believe that. Thank you for this site, thank you for listening.
Peg
Hello Peg,
I want to thank you for sharing your story here on Biker's Haven. It is particularly important to me that survivors of accidents share what they have lived through. It is important for a number of reasons.
One reason is that I believe that other riders (and especially new riders... though ALL riders need to constantly hone skills and check egos) will gain knowledge and riding skills as they read about what one may have done wrong in any given situation to make the situation worse....BUT ,also, what they could have done and/or what they did do to mitigate the consequences of the wrong choices/actions they made in that situation.
Another reason it is so important is that if one survives an accident, as you have most thankfully, there is a LOT of emotional trauma that ensues in the aftermath of the incident. You have willing and bravely shared your feelings about the bike, your first ride home afterwards AND your children. You have helped all to understand, in part, that there is a process to working through the incident and how one goes forward. For some it could take days and for others it could take years.
Some survivors are the accident victim themselves who have come through it relatively physically unscathed as you did, some require days to years of physical recuperation in a hospital and rehab ( not to mention the mental and emotional rehab) .... and for those who die, their loved ones are the survivors....and for them it takes the rest of their lives to recuperate, so to speak.
I am so glad that you found Biker's Haven and were strong enough to share your event with us. So many will learn....so many will understand....so many will be encouraged.
I know that your love of life...of feeling life deeply...is enhanced by riding. Every rider can just give a silent nod to your words as you describe getting back on a bike. We are all thankful that you are safe...are an even safer rider now and will help to spread the word about always riding your own ride.
I am thankful that your brother-in-law was with you that day. I believe that my Father, who never got to see me ride in the flesh and who used to ride an Indian back in the 30's, rides with me all the time. He helps to keep me alert and safe.
If you have any photos that you would care to share with us...perhaps a picture of your guardian angel, or someone who helped you find the peace to throw a leg back over...send them on.
We ride under the same sun... your sister in spirit tink
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Tink I just found your web site from someone on www.Daily Strength.org and I thought I would share my story.. I lost 5 people in my family in one
year...Iwasn't sure I would live through all of this..My sister's husband died of a heart attack in Oct 2006 at age 59, My husband died of cancer
in Nov. 2006 at age 67 This almost killed me and my 3 sons..then while on a vacation trip up to Canada and all through Northern America.
On June 1,2007.My brother andhis wife riding their Golden Eagle with 3 other couple in Diana New yorkwas going down the highway..my
brother and his wife second in line..hit head on with a car that had swayed over in their lane...She wasn't paying attention and went into that
lane, killing my brother and his wife...My baby brother age 58 and my sister in law age 57...They had so much to live for and my sister in law
had just retired...They left behind..a daughter age 32 her husband and two children and he left a 25 year old (single) son in the navy that is now
out to sea. It is such a loss..Then in Oct. 2007 I lost my mother....So much sorrow for all of us...For all of you that have lost loved ones..My
heart goes out to you..I so understand how you feel!
Glenda
My Dear Glenda,
So much sorrow that you have witnessed, in such a relatively short period of time. I am so sorry my sister. I have no words to offer that
would act as a balm on such a wound as the one you are forced to nurse and heal.
In reading your letter it occurs to me that you have allowed me to touch this grief. I hope and pray that my touch is one that brings a
moment of peace...a moment of relief...a moment of healing.
I thought of a wonderful Zen Monk, Thich Nhat Hanh, who instructs his listeners to find their strength for dealing with their suffering
by first concentrating on breathing in and saying "calm" then breathing out and smiling....then finding in that one moment a simple joy...
bring to mind one thing for just that moment that brings you joy....for he goes on to instruct that without this ground of joy,( even if it is
just a moment of joy) it is very difficult to touch our suffering...our suffering would carry us away. "So the foundation, the first stone we
put our feet on, is our tiny bit of joy, our tiny bit of happiness, before we can go farther."--a student of Thay's--
I do not promote one religion over another here in Biker's Haven. But share what I know from several different ways in the hope that
peace will cover you and healing continue.
Glenda, how strong your inner being must be with love and positive energy to bear this pain and work to be at peace again. I know that
it is so hard to understand death. I will think of your "baby brother" and your sister-in-law....I will imagine their joy as they rode,
probably very similar to mine when I ride. And I am so sorry that their lives ended so tragically.
When you have the desire to, send Biker's Haven a picture of them and itwill be my privilege to give them a memorial page where you and
others can come to pray and write memorials to them. Visit with us often and send your comforting words to others. Thank you for
sharing so much of yourself and letting others know that they are not alone.
Your sister in spirit,
Tink
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Dear Tink, My father in-law and mother in-law were always on the go kind of people very involved with there Gold Wing motorcycle chapter. In the begining of
2007, he and a few others from there chapter had made plans to travel from Alabama up to Canada starting in late May of 2007. He was so
excited like a kid in a candy store. He was and experience driver whohas been on a bike since he was 14 years old. Sad to say that on June 1st
on a back country highway in New York he was hit head on by a 24year old female that fell asleep at the wheel and went completely into his lane
and killing mom and dad instantly. I begged him to sit thistrip out and he would reply this is going to be his last ride. Now I have lost dad, my best
friend, my fishing and hunting buddy because of someone else's stupid mistake. I have also lost a mother figure who to me was a loving saint.
Two people who can never be replaced.
Gregory
Dear Gregory, How very, very sad this is! To lose two caring and loving people who seemto have made such a significant contribution to your sense of belonging
and of being loved.
How beautiful and rare that you felt so much for your Father-in-law and your Mother-in-law. I can "hear" the pain their death brings to your world.
Your loving words about your father-in-law...that he was "my bestfriend, my fishing buddy" ...someone so significant that you call him Dad! I can
imagine how hard it must be. My own Father who died three years ago was a GREAT fisherman and hunter. He shared his love of the outdoors with
his children and he brought so much passion to the things he loved to do. I know that when I ride he is with me and he would be so proud that his
"little one" rode.
I hope that as you go forward in this life journey, that you are able toknow your Dad's presence with you again as you pursue your love of fishing and
hunting. ...that you can know the joy of sharing your passion for the outdoors again with someone who will truly appreciate your love and attention
as you did with your Father-in-law. This will help to heal those wounds somewhat.
I also "hear" the almost sacred regard you had for your Mother-in-law. Again, Gregory, how very beautiful. Losing a Mother is like no other type of
loss. As a mother myself I just know that my love for my children will Never diminish...not even death can take my love for them away.
In this way your Mom loves you still and I do wish for you that you take her kind, loving ways into your own life as you go forward. Their love and
regard for you is obvious in this: your testament here to their goodness.
Never doubt that they are with you as you go forward...the relationship you shared with them gave YOU so much and is a part of the man you are
now. Keep that Love close to your heart and let it continue to help you and nurture you.
I am so sorry for your loss. I hope that peace is yours in the future. As I share with others here...if it would help you to set up a memorial page for
them, then please send me a photo of them and then you and others can come and pay your respects any time you like. I will keep you in my
thoughts, Gregory,
your sister in spirit,
Tink
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Dear Tink,
My husband died from a motorcycle
accident on March 6, 2007! It was the first warm day
and he had a meeting at work! Most of his friends at
his job had motorcycles also! To back up just a
little, he bought the motorcycle without talking to
me first and even though he had one before I never
wanted him to have another one! He always had the
motorcycle put in the shop and checked out every
spring before he rode it! We argued a bit that
morning because I wanted him to do the check up
before he took it out He rode it anyway. He was
supposed to be home by 4:00 p.m. and at 6:00 the
panic started to set in! I called work he had left
for home on time! I called the highway patrol and
they said yes he's still alive! We all hot to the
hospital and the doctor came in and said so sober
and uncaring "I doubt he lives and if does he will
be a vegetable" then he turned and walked away!
I never saw the doctor again! My husbands body
slowly shut down! I watched hi slowly shut down for
30 hours until he was pronounced brain dead! He was
unconscious, as the police officer said at the scene
he seemed to be okay so they didn't notify me! But
as I held his hand and told him I loved him tears
ran down his cheeks! The nurse said it was probably
just drainage but I know it was tears! Its been 10
months and I just keep reliving it! I have tried
counseling, widow sites, books it is like a movie
replaying in my head every day! He was wearing a
helmet! Thirty Eight years of marriage is just
really hard to let g of! I am trying to adjust to
being alone some days are okay and others are awful! Peggy
Dear Peggy, Thank you so much for sharing your story with me. It is such a touching and heart wrenching story. There is so much grief when any one loses a loved one. It seems that when it is a motorcycle accident, the burden weighs heavier for those left behind. It can very difficult for someone who has not ridden to figure out why a rider chooses to ride. This compounds the grieving process intensely. My heart went out to you as you described how cold the Doctor seemed....how nonchalant the Police officer seemed....and of course as you held your husband’s hand, you saw his tears and they spoke volumes to you. You say that thirty-eight years of marriage is "just really hard to let go of". I don't think that letting go of those years is possible. They are a part of who you are now and can not be erased. Those years have helped to define who you are. Ten months of living without your husband must seem endless after having him for thirty-eight years. Moving on with out him is so unfamiliar after all that time with him. I wish I could help you to stop re-playing it over and over in your mind. The mind needs to make sense of it for the heart and this incessant replaying is the process. The more you talk about it…the more you describe the scenes in your mind…the more you talk and get the visions from your mind out in words, the better you will be. The less they will play. But you have suffered a grievous loss and it may take some time for the re-plays to subside. Keep sharing your story as often as you can. This will help so much!!! And in the process you may help to heal someone else suffering the same pain and agony. You are proving that you are strong in that you have sought places to ease your grief and perhaps help others to grieve. You have found your way to Biker's Haven, too. This is a very good thing. Do not lose heart my sister. Your beloved wants you to know life and happiness once again. His love for you would not want you to suffer so desperately. I can only imagine how much he wants you to stop hurting, how much he wants you to remember his life with you and recall the times of joy and love. Recall the strength of your commitment to one another and honor the strength He gave you…and gives you still…as you journey forward. Your sister in spirit, Tink
Hi Peggy,
I'm so glad you posted your story for others to read. I hope it will help to know that I feel your pain so strongly. It's so bad that we have come together under such sad circumstances. I am here to share your pain, and try to get thru this with you always. May God give us the strength we need to carry on in this life and may we find Hope in knowing that out husbands are just one heartbeat away.
With Love,
Cathy
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Dear Tink,
I found your site today. I would like to pay tribute to my husband and Eternal Soulmate, Gary (Gary's Memorial Page is located here). On March 12th, 2007 I lost him. He had just celebrated his 60th birthday. He didn't want to turn 60. He had almost a fear about it I'd say. The one thing he said he really wanted was a motorcycle. His friend was an experienced rider (Gary was not) and he wanted to experience the thrill of a bike. I said no. Over and over again, until he just wore me down. I thought, who was I to deny him of this experience if it would make him happy then, o.k. I had a terrible gut feeling about it though. I didn't want him on one, ever. I gave in and bought him a new Victory Hammer. I gave it to him the night of his surprise party, March 10th. It was a wonderful party filled with family and friends from all over. Utah, Texas and Nevada. He was overwhelmed and so happy.
Cathy
Dear
Cathy,
First of all I want to extend my heart felt condolences to you, your children, your extended family and all the lives that experienced grief and sadness over the death of your husband Gary. Secondly, thank you for sharing your story with us and for sharing the beautiful picture of you and your husband. Your story and your picture will speak to many who have been through similar losses. My hope, too, is that you find comfort in sharing this with us all and in memorializing your loved one in this manner. As I read your words I am touched by the desire you had to give him something that you knew would delight him: A party, his friends and a motorcycle. I am also moved by your words describing everything that happened in stark contrast to that birthday party two days later. I can't imagine how very difficult it must be to not be able to talk with the man who was riding with your husband the day he died. My heart goes out to you as you wrestle with your feelings surrounding this. I can 'hear' the frustration as you describe what you were told about the chain of events. You have shared that you are seeking grief therapy to help ease the "unbearable pain" and I hope that the others out there who have similar grief experiences will find that encouraging....so that they too go and get help any where they can. I do so hope that the love of your family and friends strengthens you and that you have many wonderful memories of your husband's love for you. It is my honor to bring your story to the world and to allow others to know how much you loved him and how much you will miss him. Please, Cathy, do not hesitate to write again and let us all know how you are doing.
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January 4th 2008 My son has been riding from age 16. He started with a scooter then he went to a 250 off road bike and last year after getting his "big bike" license he found himself a Yamaha TRX at age 22. A great bike. He has always been very safety conscious and when he got the TRX he got the right gear for riding. He fitted frame sliders and customized the bike to his liking. It really was his baby. He looked after it really well. I say "was " because on Monday (2 days ago) he had an accident. He was traveling on th highway when a car suddenly changed lanes and hit him. Fortunately he had no broken bones but heavy bruising to his left leg and a sprain to his ankle.
Steve First... let me say how very happy I am that your son is doing well physically. That is a true blessing. Second... let me say that it must be very traumatic for ALL of you to deal with this accident. When one person rides that person's loved ones become affected by the events and adventures the rider has. Third... I have to say as I re-read your letter that you are a great parent. Most would be ranting and raving and very angry from fear. You seem to be seeing the man in the 22 year old and know that he has his life to live which is made better and enhanced by riding. I know that the loss of something that helps you feel so in control and so strong and quite nimble, agile and creative (yes creative), like a good motorcycle, can be difficult to over come. Not to mention the fact that when an accident occurs one REALLY understands that for as much as we feel in control...there are elements of the ride we can not control. This can often feel like a betrayal. I think for most things in life, the good and the bad, we are better off separating the elements when it comes time to cope with them. If we can try to do this we are freed up from overwhelming emotional responses and can access our learned wisdom and fortify it going forward with lessons learned retaining our dignity. Keeping feelings out of how to replace the bike is a good place to start. As much as he loved the bike....there is a new ride out there should he choose to get back in the saddle. The insurance companies vary and I know that from what others have told me it can be quite frustrating. So anticipate that going forward and try not to get too impatient. But, keeping an eye on the acquisition of the new bike that will eventually take place, work through the red-tape in baby steps. Use the time to heal psychologically. Talk with him whenever he needs to about the particulars of the accident. If it starts to drift into regret over not having his bike state that procuring another one is happening and get back to helping him work through the event itself. He may need to talk about it a lot. He is probably going over it and over it....constantly. So the more he gets it out...over and over again , the better he will be. Once he gets to the point where he can actually purchase another bike financially...he may not decide to ride right away. Let him find his way...a little at a time. It may take a couple of months it may take 6 or 7 (maybe even longer) before he feels ready to throw a leg over again....depending on his personality and his own methods of coping. It might even be good for him to come to Bikers Haven and write out his memories of the event to facilitate that purge. AND help others! Thank you Steve for writing. I will keep you in thoughts....write again if you need. I will post your story tonight and hope that other readers will reach out to you and your son! keep us posted. Let us know what is working for you and what isn't! Warm Wishes as you all heal, Tink
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October 11th 2007 My husband purchased a 2005 Softail Deuce and started customizing a little at a time. He loved his bike so much, noone could come near his bike and especially sit on it, he used to say it was his "baby". Then on Sept 29, 2007 as he left to go to work , I told him I loved him and gave him a kiss and I that was the last time I saw my husband. He was killed 5 minutes from our house. I married him when I was 15 and we had been married 18 years with 5 children all under 16. He was the breadwinner in our home so this has left my children and I in a very tought predicament. I know how all the riders and very united because my husband went to many many rallies and he would tell me how united everyone was. Now I am asking you if you know of any support groups that I could join to help ease my pain and also any type of fundraising groups to help with my children's future. Hope to hear from you, thank you, Sonia
Sonia, I am so sorry to hear of the death of your love. It must be a difficult and seemingly overwhelming journey that you are now forced to take. But, because you have shared you story, here, others will benefit and we may be able to start helping people like yourself, in a very real way. One suggestion I would make would be to try to contact those riders your husband spent time with . Find out if they would be willing to hold a ride in your husband’s memory. Ride fees and donations or an agreed portion of them could go to you. Your Husband was right about riders being connected through our passion and love of riding and your local riding community is the right place to start to look for help. I ask our readers to also help by sharing their own stories, their discoveries of help and ask them to offer you support through this site. There are many who have had a hard and difficult journey because they or someone they love rides and have suffered an injury or even death because of it. We need a place to hurt and to heal…YOU need a place to hurt and to heal….this is a good place to start. I would also suggest that you find a place of worship near you…even if you may not have deep religious feelings….you may find that they will have support groups that will help you in many ways, and help your children too. In the mean time I will look for you on-line for more support groups and ask that the readers also respond with stories, words of support and suggestions. We are a community and we need to support our own and those who love us! Please feel free to e-mail again…use the memory page with a picture of your husband and his bike…prayers…. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family, Sonia! Tink *************************************************************************** Dear Sonia, I too lost my husband on a motorcycle March 12th, 2007. I have been searching for a site to talk to someone who (unfortunately) had lost their husband as I did. While its a tragedy to say the least< I hope it will help you to know that you are not alone in this. I am here. I feel your pain like no one else can and if you ever want to talk, I am here to listen, cry, and heal with you. May you find strength from your memories of life with your husband and may you have a brighter tomorrow. Hugs to you, Cathy
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September 10th 2007 HI Tink, Just wanted to share my experience. I was riding double with my husband on our new harley heritage. We were on vacation in North Carolina and were heading back to our friends house to ride together for the last time before we headed home to Pa. We were making a left hand turn when a truck ran a stop sign and hit us. We were both taken to the hospital with road rash on our arms and hands and I had whiplash. After returning home to Pa. I was scheduled to take my Motor Cycle Safety Course. You guessed it I was terrified - I dumped the bike the first day on the course and didn't complete the course. I was frustrated and upset with myself but also was determined to learn to drive my own bike so with that determination and a very understanding instructor I took the course again and passed it this time. My husband helped me pick out and purchase a 250cc Alpha Sport and with his encouragement I finally got up the courage to go out onto the road. It took me a year to become comfortable on the bike - but because of his encouragement I kept going. This summer I have put over 3000 miles on my bike and have enjoyed every minute of it. I rarely ride behind him on the Harley. I am now in the market for something a little bigger ( I am currently looking at a V Star 650). I know how difficult it was for me to get back on the big bike when we picked it up after it was repaired and even harder to get my license but if you want something bad enough go for it and you will find the courage to do it. I know God was with us that day and he is on my shoulder every day that I ride. I would like to thank you for the opportunity to share my experience and hope it helps others to get over their fear after an accident - If I can do it at 60 years old anyone can!!!!! Mary in Pennsylvania
Hey my riding sister, Mary!!!!!!!!!!! First of all I want to thank you VERY much for sharing your story. It happens SOOO often that when we tell about our experiences and our true feelings that result from those experiences, that others seem to find permission to share the story of their troubles, fears, anxieties and subsequent stories of victory and accomplishment! Second, I do not think any one can know the level of fear and then courage that is experienced in a situation like yours unless one has gone through something of the same magnitude. Those who have taken into their very beings this kind of life altering event are the ones who know how much it becomes a part of who you are every day. I am thankful with you that your injuries were not more severe AND thankful that your sharing will inspire many to continue to pursue their dream of riding. I do not know your physical size, but you will probably really love the VStar!!!! I would consider it a privilege to ride with you (I live in Central NJ…..), so any time you want a sister to ride with you just let me know…we will figure out how to make it happen! In Joy, Tink |
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February 13th 2007 Hi, Tink! I want to tell you the story of Chris, who was my boyfriend for 3 years, and remains my truest friend today. It was May 1, 2005, and I had learned just the day before that I was going to have a baby!! I could barely keep my eyes open with toothpicks, so I slept most of the day on May 1. My phone kept ringing and ringing, and I put a pillow over my head and ignored it, hoping for a just a few more winks. Then someone was pounding on my door and screaming, and then I learned that Chris had wrecked his bike just down the street and was still at the scene. When I arrived, I witnessed hell. His bike was still running, his clothes were scattered on the street, his helmet was far from where everything else was... and there was blood everywhere. The ambulance had just arrived and wouldn't let me see him... and they told me to gather family and friends. At the hospital, they told me to prepare myself for the worst, and to just take care of the tiny baby we were expecting. Chris' face was shattered like an egg. Incredibly, however, not a single other bone in his body was broken. According to the police report, he was riding over 70 mph on a residential street, had been drinking, and lost control of his bike. His face hit a light pole, but the fact that his bones shattered saved his life - otherwise his neck would have broken. I should have known that Chris was too stubborn to die. He has had quite a few reconstructive surgeries, gotten a whole new set of pearly whites, and is most proud that his hair has grown back!!! He's still as beautiful to me as he ever was, and has benefited from this experience. He's even back on his bike!! I'm proud of him, and I know that God was with both of us that day. The sad ending is that I lost our baby, and Chris and I didn't make it through the unbearable sadness and stress, but all wounds heal in time and we are there for each other. You can't go through life and death with someone and not be connected at the soul. And Tink, friends are the power behind the healing. Kerri
Dear Kerri ...so often life is more than difficult, but your words ring true and can help so many when they are hurting...."friends are the power behind the healing". I admire your courage, Chris' stubborn determination, and the love you continue to share. Thank you for sharing your story and providing such an inspiring example. ‘tink’ Dear Tink,
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Hi Tink,
I am so
thankful you have taken the initiative to put this
site together. I would like to share my accident
story and what I learned.
Many years
ago I was out riding with friends for the day. It
was such a beautiful day and the run was many miles
with stops along the way for refreshments and
hooking up with others. Well, instead of choosing
responsible liquids, I followed what everybody else
was doing . . . having a beer or two at each stop.
It didn't feel wrong, until everything in fact did
go wrong.
We were
headed back home on a wonderful back country road
and my friends were accomplished and skilled riders.
Although I had been riding for a number of years, my
skill level wasn't as good as theirs, and as the
speeds increased, I not only forgot to ride my own
ride, I simply didn't factor in the lack of judgment
the alcohol had set up.
Yup, a deep
S curve came up. I barely held the bike in position
on the first part, and being totally scared out of
my wits, looked down at the line at the right side
of the road. You guessed it . . . the bike went
where I looked and off the road I went at 80mph.
I flew over
the ditch and landed the bike but somehow in those
"flying" seconds had the presence of mind to recall
that I had always planned to "throw" myself away
from a bike to the left side and roll away if I ever
found myself in a bad situation. I came too flat on
my back in a soft field (recently plowed) and could
hear the bike still running somewhere off in the
distance. I tried to get up but knew something was
wrong. Friends rushed up and we ascertained I could
wiggle my fingers and toes but couldn't get up as I
had injured my collarbone area. The ambulance came
and it was determined that I had severely pulled a
muscle in the collarbone area. I remember asking
friends if anyone had breath mints as I didn't want
the added stigma of being under the influence. Geez.
I spent six
days flat on my back at home because I could barely
move or dress myself. I remember talking to God. But
in the "thanking part" of my talk, I realized it
wasn't God's job to think for me or even save me . .
. that the whole thing was of my own making and I
had gotten extremely lucky (when I went back to the
place I went off the road I saw that a few seconds
difference on the timing and I would have hit a tree
and been dead).
It was
lesson learned the very, very hard way . . . not
only about my own responsibility . . . but a
reminder that God helps those who help themselves.
Did He or His angels help me that day . . . I
believe they did and I am so thankful for that . . .
that I got a chance to continue my life's journey.
To this day, when I'm riding, the accident comes to
mind, but now I know it's to help me think about
what I'm doing at all times.
Petra in
Calabash, NC
Dear Petra, I would like to thank you for taking the time to share your story here in Biker’s Haven. AND I join you in being thankful that you did not hit that tree and are still here in your journey. We can do so much for each other when we share our difficult times and lessons learned. Thank you for sharing yours! ‘tink’
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Hi Tink, My accident happened the first time I got on a bike as the driver. It was not a big accident, but it was scary. In order to deal with the incident I had to take a humorous view and telling of it. But the reason I had to do that was because if I didn’t try to put it into perspective through humor I would have never gotten back on the bike. I was trying to keep the bike from stalling. I was uneducated and unaware of the power of the machine. Even a 250 bike is a powerful machine compared to a human body. I was ignorant of all of the things that could go wrong and as such was not capable of keeping bad things from happening. There was no risk management going on at all. Bad scenario. I let the clutch out too fast and grabbed too much throttle. Because I had no idea that pulling in the clutch would have disengaged the power from the rear wheel, I did not pull it in. The consequences of that was I continued to accelerate and I ran into the front end of my husbands car. Had I been 2 feet further away from the car I would have been going significantly faster by the time I made contact with the car and most likely would have won myself a ride to the hospital. As it was I put a foot long dent in the front fender with my knee and took out the front headlight with the headlight on the bike. The car had $600.00 worth of damage. My bike was fine and I was physically fine but completely spooked. One of the biggest things that helped me find confidence again was the Motorcycle Safety Foundation Course. The information and practice I got in that course has saved me more than a handful of times as I practiced and practiced and even now as I ride. About three months after that program I got an e-mail from an acquaintance with whom I had taken that Motorcycle Safety Course. We had both gotten our license upon completion of the course. She informed me that about three weeks after the safety course she was on her bike and leaving a friends driveway when, as she released her clutch, she was catapulted forward and crashed into a parked car across the street at the end of the driveway. She had spent much time in the hospital, three months out of work and had much more recovering to do. She was completely spent physically and emotionally and at that point had resolved to only ride as a passenger. I can’t help but imagine how her life has been forever altered because of those few seconds on that bike. We had similar scenarios, but the results were very, very different. I think of her a lot and hope she is healing on all levels. Even the “smallest” of accidents can shake us and those around us to the core. I do feel better when I talk about it though, and I try to share what I have learned from it to help others keep themselves safer. And I listen closely when someone else tells about their close calls or accidents. Not just because I feel camaraderie, but often the person relating the story has some insight into how it could have been avoided which helps me be a better rider. Any way, that’s my story. Christina Dear Christina, Thank you for taking the step to be the first contributor. I am thankful that you have decided to share this with all of us. As you pointed out even seemingly small accidents can have long lasting consequences and sometimes it is the injury one cannot see that is the most difficult to deal with. Namely the psychological one. I am glad you did not get hurt but I am sorry to hear about the friend who ended up in the hospital. I know that most riders would wish her well. I hope she finds this site and finds she is not alone in her recovery. ‘tink’
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